Swing those weights, do-si-d’oh!

Well, good morning, all! Everyone ready to do their morning workout? Let’s get started!

Haha, I don’t really do stuff like that, although I did recently RIDE a boat!

It was fun, but for me, the most exciting part was getting out of the boat when we were done:

(kinda looked like these, and note NO HANDRAILS!!)

Next time maybe I’ll just ask for an inflatable dinghy.

So, what with all the comfort food I needed to recuperate, my weight’s up a tad


but hey, it’s all good! And I actually have a little bit of actual Exercise Advice this week, too!

Unfortunately, as if regular COVID-19 wasn’t bad enough, there’s this annoying little grawlix (look it up!) called the Delta Variant rearing its ugly head.

So even though right now some of us are enjoying our fully vaccinated lifestyles, specifically heading back to the gym, it’s entirely possible we may have to go back into lockdown at some point, depending on how bad this thing actually turns out to be. Well, I don’t know about you, but I was completely UNprepared for losing my gym last year, and while I kinda sorta found ways to exercise, kinda sorta–

— it just wasn’t the same as going to my Big Box gym and getting a good workout!

And since I joined a gym a few months ago (hello, Fitness 19 Chatsworth, Simi Valley, and Moorpark!), I’ve been doing my (not-yet-patented-but-probably-should,-eh?) Five And Done thingy, where I pick five machines at random and do two or three sets (depending on my mood, the weather, my horoscope, etc.) on each one. Sometimes I do other stuff afterwards, too, and that’s fine, but the idea is, when you can’t think of anything to do at the gym, “Just do five things and you’re done!” (I really should patent that! Or copyright it or something. Any patent lawyers reading this? I can pay up to $5 worth of Dogecoin!)

ANYHOO, getting back to my advice, which I guarantee is PRICELESS–

(As Mr. 50by60.com comments: A thousand more candles and it just might work!)

–now that we’re all a little more savvy in how these pandemic lockdown thingies work, I’ve been going to the gym and looking for ways to duplicate the workouts on the machines I like best using free weights. Yes– shocker!!– all those fun weight machines you can sit on, at the gym, were actually created to make weight lifting easier!

I mean, those of you who hoist iron regularly are probably smirking through your pecs at this whole thing, but come on, I’m a fat old lady. How would I know any of this stuff? You certainly never told me, while you were having your muscles pumped up or stuffed under your shirt or whatever.

So anyway, just as an example, one of the machines I regularly put into my Five and Done rotation is one of the fly machines.

No, different kind of fly! The one I’m talking about looks like this:

Basically you sit facing away from the machine, reach out and hold onto the handles on each side, then pull them towards your chest, then back. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? And I can usually pull about 30, maybe 40 pounds on that one, on a good day. But– quelle horreur*!– what if the gym closes? Well, you silly billy, just grab a couple of dumbbells– (*hey, those Duolingo lessons are paying off!)

No, no, they’re wayyyy too heavy for this blog! I meant these:

Stand (or sit upright in a chair), hold one weight in each hand, stretch your arms out to your sides, then do exactly the same movement you were doing on the machine!

(hubba hubba!)

One REALLY important tip from yours truly, though: if you can do this with 30 pounds on the fly machine (or any other weight machine, for that matter), do NOT try to use the same size dumbbells! That’s because the machines make it a WHOLE lot easier to hoist a WHOLE lot more weight than you’d be able to do with the free weights. I’d suggest picking the lightest weights you can find, to start out, and focus on getting your form right, before going for the heavier stuff.

“But Mrs. 50by60,” you might protest, “what if the jocks, the REAL weight lifters, laugh at me when I pick up those cute little pink 5-pound dumbbells, and try to give me ‘helpful’ hints on how to really do it right?”

Well, first of all, don’t talk to those guys! And second, if you do, stand your ground (or sit it, if you have bad knees), stare ’em right in the eyes, and shut ’em down!

You do you, my friend! Anyway, my point in this overly long post is that if you’re lucky enough to be able to go to a gym right now, study the machines you most enjoy using, and (using lighter weights than you use on the machines) see if you can duplicate the same movements you’re using them for.

And on that helpful note, I personally am gonna go have some delicious cofveve and pray that that word is the ONLY thing that will survive the prior administration, if you get my drift.

And if you have any helpful hints for successful ways to keep up your exercise routine at home, drop ’em in the comments! Hey, you don’t even have to be RELATED to me to comment, hint hint! (and hi, cousins!)

(yes, I’m binge-ing “Arrested Development” AGAIN!!)

See ya next week!


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